Attachment Parenting (or Ranting)
The world is a crazy mixed-up place, the way we give birth is only the beginning of this tragic tale. From my experience, as a midwife, I've found that women have forgotten how to give birth. It's astonishing that we need classes in childbirth and breastfeeding. It should flow from our instinct and our observations of older women in our social circles. Instead, we are brainwashed by TLC, "The Baby Story" and our only mentors have had epidurals and c-sections.
A generation of women are being hardwired to believe an unmedicated vaginal birth is impossible. Even the women in my practice, planning a homebirth, often have doubts...the fear is so strong and the cultural undercurrent insists they can't do it without help. With a nationwide C-section rate of thirty percent, womens' fears are reinforced by hard data; "My body doesn't work properly". It's advertising at the most insidious level.
As I said before, it only begins with birth. Babies create astronomical profits for drug companies, diaper companies, formula companies, Babys'R Us, Baby Einstein. The truth is that parents don't need any of it! It's all useless crap! We led to believe we can't parent without all the stuff. These companies could easily put their efforts into creating something actually benefical to the human race, instead of pushing mother substitutes on us. I have arms and breasts; my baby doesn't need anything else. Unless my baby is an orphan, it doesn't need a bottle; even then I would hope someone would find a wet-nurse for the little fella before subjecting him to artificial feeding! Yikes! And what's the deal with 'Baby Einstein'?? (shh...there's money to be made) I KNOW Albert Einstein didn't have any DVDs; he was a mamma's-boy. He had an actual human being interacting with him.
Our children need nurturing, in-arms, not baby seats and video friends. They need to see the world from our point of view, cheek to cheek, to observe our daily routine, to hear the sound of our voices. They need us to be attentive to their signals for food and elimination, but they don't need us to entertain them every moment. They are supposed to be learning from us, asking us questions. Instead, parents are always asking, "What do you want, a bottle? a rattle? a plastic something, anything?" It's very confusing to a baby. Babies think they are communicating, but thier parents don't seem able to pick up the most basic ques. Babies quit trying. The ability to form human relationships and long-term attachments is made or lost in the first few months.
If crying only gets a child material comfort, then that's what he'll seek out the rest of his life. The true deep longing for human attachment will be overshadowed by materialism and dysfunctional relationships. Newborns need skin to skin contact, breast milk and love. If you must travel by car; then a carseat is necessary. The rest of the time, the baby should be in a simple cloth sling next to your body. Everything else is clutter, cribs, pacifiers, swings, plastic carriers, shoes, bottles, bassinets, play pen. It's all usless junk. Oh and diapers.. the biggest scam, next to formula. Don't buy them! Read "Diaper-Free" instead. Babies can let you know when they need to eliminate just as easily as they can tell you when they're hungry. Pay Attention! Nobody likes to sit in their own shit, even briefly. If we would like to stop raising a generation of sociopaths, we need to rediscover how to nuture children.